November 19, 2008

There was a lot more to see on Mars

There was imagination.

There was education. (“Earth and Mars are anywhere from 35 million to 240 million miles apart at times. Which used to make a trip to Mars pretty tricky. For example, space ships had to follow a curved path for about eight months to intercept Mars when it reached a certain spot. It was like trying to hit a golf ball in California hard enough, and accurately enough, to make it go through one particular window of a train arriving in Florida that much later.”)

There was even a classic bit of Disney slapstick (remember the albatross who tripped the emergency alert every time he came in for a landing?)

That was Mission to Mars.

Now, there’s this. Seems like there was a transporter malfunction when they were trying to beam in a new attraction to update the original Flight to the Moon. They got something from the local mall’s food court crossed with a Johnny Rocket’s outpost, leaving this hideous result.

Perhaps someone told the excited crowd that their object is actually a time capsule, filled with Peoplemovers, Rocket Jets, and America’s music. Or maybe it’s the nucleus of the atom! Do they dare enter the unknown vastness of its inner space?

No.

It is better that they return to the realm of the marketing for a slice of pizza before they are tempted to go on shrinking profits — forever.

3 comments:

Vintage Disneyland Tickets said...

Even the pizza at this place has declined by degrees! I soooo miss Mission to Mars, it could have been updated (Mission to Pluto?) That big lame floating marble thing needs to go, I'm glad they tore out the Speed ramp to Space Mt. to make room for that round piece of junk!

Viewliner Ltd. said...

Happy Thanksgiving... wishing all the best for you and your family, Richard.

Yellows said...

Thanks so much, Richard! All the best to you and yours, too!